thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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