areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
