Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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