Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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