last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
