he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
