she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
