He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
