Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
