I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
