Sry I called you an 8
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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