This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
