Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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