How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
