I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
