Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
