he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
