I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
