Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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