If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
