He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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