My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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