How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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