All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
