I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dick very happy bro
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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