Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize