Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Small penises have feelings too.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
