Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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