just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
