is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
