yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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