Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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