she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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