If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
