One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
