so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
