Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
