you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
