Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
