so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
