I can text with my tongue
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
