also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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