very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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