I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
