worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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