you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
