Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
