I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
