I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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