Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
