I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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