5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize