he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
