The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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