Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize