There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
