how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think i got beer on your cat.
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