It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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