Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize