just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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