Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
