I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
