so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize