East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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