But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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