bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
