doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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