I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
