i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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