it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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