So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
